Are you catching someone else’s frustration?

Last week I had the privilege of meeting and working with 700 educators who gathered to strengthen their professional skills and resilience. One of my sessions was, unsurprisingly, about burnout.

Why isn’t that surprising? Well, like many high pace, high intensity fields, education is suffering. And when you add in low resources things get a lot worse for even the most dedicated professionals.

Side bar – this is why the May Think Tank on Resilience is going to focus on burnout of frontline professionals in the nonprofit world. You should come!

Anyway, what I wanted to bring to you from that conversation is about teams. I asked leaders in the room to tell me what was most damaging to their staff and they told me the problem is how feelings of burnout – exhaustion, cynicism and decreased efficacy – are contagious. That when one person starts talking about how tired they are, everyone gets more tired. When one person voices the thought that the work is just getting harder or the obstacles just keep growing or the outcomes will never be like they used to be, everyone’s frustration and disengagement grow. And they’re correct. These are examples of emotional contagion. I offered them strategies about how to derail those conversations and diminish those behaviors.

But afterwards, I was thinking about you. Yes, I do that a lot. And I thought “What can individual professionals do to not get poisoned like that?” We can’t change our brain chemistry. Our neurons want to mirror the energy and emotions that surround us so that we fit with the group. So that we belong, so that we are safe.

Here’s the answer – catch (and spread) different emotions. Better emotions. Hang out with the people who look for solutions, find a reason to laugh, distract themselves and you with unrelated stories or actually tell about the wins. Do those things yourself for other people. You will not only protect (dare I say immunize?) yourself from some of these negative emotions, you can turn the tide and make your whole community healthier by starting, mirroring or amplifying the good stuff.

Listen, I’m not advocating for ignoring the truth or pretending you feel things you don’t. I want you to make space for your whole set of experiences. But when you’re working with a team your words have big power. Seek a helpful ear when you need to vent or find a solution. And resist the temptation to dive into the deep end of the complaining pool. Instead go sunbathe with the upbeat people. Or invite some folks to join you.

Have you seen emotional contagion at work? What do you think? Hit reply and tell me!

All my best,

Dr. G