Do I HAVE to get dressed up?

With Passover and Easter still in the air, I ask – did you have any wear-this-or-else arguments at your house?  This is definitely one of the times of the year that we force our kids into dress clothes.  And, as the mother of boys, I can say it is often a struggle. I don’t pay a lot of attention to the “But whhhhyyyyyyyy?” stall tactic, but I did give it some thought this week.  Does it matter how kids dress?  I believe it does.  Clothes guide expectations and behavior. Don’t get me wrong, my boys can be little heathens in a dress shirt and pants as easily as they can in play clothes.  But it takes a little longer to get there.  What they wear reminds them where they are and how they are meant to behave there. School uniform, team jersey, Halloween costume, bathing suit – clothes remind us of our purpose in that moment. When my kids argue about dressing up, what they are really saying is “Why are we going someplace that I have to be quiet the whole time?”  Which usually isn’t true and they never are anyway.  But their clothes serve as a constant, nonverbal reminder of our expectations in a certain setting. Even better, clothes can give our kids a little wiggle room from other adults.  Think about it.  Ever seen a kid walk into a religious service, really sloppily dressed?  On some level you would not be surprised at poor behavior from her or him.  When our kids take the time (or we do) to dress nicely, they get a little grace period from adults in the more formal setting.  That child is having trouble with their behavior for a minute, but at least they dressed up for the occasion!  And the subconscious of that grown up gives them a second chance to get it together. Valuable lessons, and worth the arguments, I think.