Get more credit for what you're already doing

All month, we've been talking about building resilience in the normal, the spaces between the big dots on our timelines.

So I want to end October with a question I've been asking you:

Can something you're already doing build your resilience without adding anything new to your day?

I think the answer is yes.

Think about rewards points on a credit card. You're buying the groceries anyway. But if you use the rewards card, you're getting something extra from a thing you were already going to do.

I think we can do something similar with resilience.

You're already sitting through meetings, sitting in traffic (and sometimes both at the same time) grocery shopping, or figuring out where to get lunch. You're already going to annual doctor's appointments, parent-teacher conferences, or getting feedback at work. You're already having conversations with your team and solving the hundred little problems that come up during a normal week.

What if you could get a little more resilience out of all of it?

One way is simply by noticing and naming the skill you're practicing.

When your child puts their dishes on the counter, you could say, “Thanks.” Or you could say, “Thanks for putting your dishes on the counter. That was helpful.”

Now you're naming the behavior you want them to recognize in themselves. You're helping build their confidence around being a helpful person—and making it more likely they'll do it again.

The same thing works with adults.

When an employee comes to you with a problem and two possible solutions, instead of only discussing which solution to choose, you can say, “I appreciate that you came to me with options. I value your problem solving skills."

You've done more than handled what was in front of you. You've reinforced a behavior that can make your team more resilient the next time something changes.

What we name, we get better at recognizing. And what we recognize, we can practice more intentionally.

Your weekly call with a team member isn't just another meeting. You're strengthening a relationship that will make communication easier when something goes wrong.

Talking to someone in another part of your organization isn't just being friendly. You're building connections that expose you to different perspectives and make you more open-minded about where solutions can come from.

Asking for feedback at your annual review isn't just something you're supposed to do. You're practicing tolerating discomfort, curiosity, and adapting to new information.

None of those things require another hour in your calendar.

You're doing them anyway.

The opportunity is to start recognizing the resilience rewards you're getting from them.

That's what I hope you take from our conversation this month. Building resilience doesn't always require a new habit, a new routine, or one more thing to accomplish.

Sometimes it means looking more closely at the life you're already living and asking:

What am I practicing here?

And when you see resilience in yourself, your kids, your team, or the people around you, name it.

Because the more clearly we recognize the strategies that help us navigate change, the easier they are to reach for when one of those bigger dots eventually does appear on our timeline.

All my best,

Dr. G