How to Diet and Not Harm My Kids

My friend and I are really worried about dieting in front of our girls. We don't use the word, and we say we are trying to be "healthier", but we are really worried about giving the girls a complex about their body size and damaging their relationship with food. What can we do to teach them to be healthy without damaging them?

Jodi & Jennifer, Mom and Mommer

Jennifer, be encouraged. You and your friend have an opportunity here to teach your daughters a lot about health. What matters most is the words you use, and not only when you’re around your kids. If your family decided to be more financially careful, or to take up a new hobby, you’d talk about it, right? So it’s totally natural to talk about your focus on health – good nutrition and physical activity.

1. Keep your own body image words as neutral as you can.

Don’t pretend overweight doesn’t exist (then kids will see right through us), but talk about being more fit, exercising more, increasing stamina, playing longer instead of losing weight. Speak about your own body as though you were speaking about your good friend’s body! Then you are sure to be more kind and careful. Remember that your kids will absorb your attitudes and turn them inward. 2.

Talk about what you are eating, not what you aren’t.

This helps kids focus on the importance of deciding which foods to eat. Also it helps kids learn about health without focus on avoidance. Any sentence that starts with “I’m NOT eating…” leads to the idea that healthy eating is less eating. 3.

Follow the 

suggestions I lay out here

,

to make sure that you are giving your kids the healthiest patterns you can. Even if your child isn’t overweight, these are evidence-based guidelines that will help you prevent overweight and obesity issues in the future. As parents, we often wonder what messages we are sending, or inner turmoil we are creating. The best way to find out? Ask! “What do you think about my new focus on healthy eating and exercise?” If you are really worried about her body image, you can ask. “Do you think you are too thin, too fat, or just about right?” Her answer will give you great information about what she believes. If her self-image and reality are not in sync, talk to her about it, and talk to her doctor about it too. When you ask such a question you let her know that she can talk to you about anything, and you understand better how to guide her.

The best thing

you can do for your kids is to model a healthy lifestyle, surrounded by open communication. Getting healthy is not only for you, it’s for your family as well. Best of luck to you!