It's Never the Warning Light

Friction has been on my mind lately.

Not things rupturing, just rubbing the wrong way.

The conversation with a coworker that leaves you feeling off. The tension with your partner. The ache that shows up after your morning run. The warning light on your dashboard.

Our instinct is often one of two extremes: react immediately or ignore it completely.

There’s a third, usually better, choice.

In medicine, we have a phrase called watchful waiting. If something isn't urgent, we don't always rush to fix it. We pay attention. We see what happens next.

That's a resilience skill.

Recently, one of my sons was driving home from summer camp when a warning light flashed across his dashboard.

His first thought? It's probably just the sensor.

Years ago, a mechanic told me something I've never forgotten: "People always think the problem is the warning light. It's never the warning light."

The light isn't the problem. It's trying to tell you about the problem.

Life works that way, too.

Not every moment of friction deserves your energy. Sometimes you're tired. Hungry.

Too warm. Someone else is having a bad day. The irritation passes, and you move on. That's healthy.

But when the same friction keeps showing up, don't ignore it.

Get curious.

Ask yourself, What can I learn?

Maybe the conflict is pointing to a boundary that needs to be set. Maybe the frustration is revealing a value that's being overlooked. Maybe the recurring discomfort is inviting you to make a change you've been avoiding.

Friction isn't always something to eliminate. Sometimes it's information.

One of the most resilient questions you can ask isn't, "How do I make this go away?"

It's, "What is this trying to show me?"

Will you tell me about a warning light you’re hoping will just disappear?

All my best,

Dr. G