Lie to Mom? Suffer the consequences!

My 9 year old has been forgetting to brush his teeth & when I ask in the morning if he brushed, he will lie & say yes. Every morning I put tooth paste on the kids tooth brushes, after the boys left for school, I was upstairs with my little one. The 9yo’s tooth brush had not been touched, tooth paste a dead giveaway. So... After I got my daughter to preschool, I went to school & had the 4^th grader paged. I handed him his tooth brush & made him brush. When he came back from the bathroom he said "you embarrassed me!" I said good, maybe you will stop lying about brushing your teeth. The end. OK, what does Dr. G say...

Laura, in Pittsburgh, PA

I say… Go Mama!  Teeth brushing is important, but truth-telling is even more important. What did you do that your 4

^th

grader needs?

1. You notice him.  You pay attention to what he does and to what he doesn’t do.  He can be certain that you are focused on him.

2. You care for him.  Not just care about him, you are invested in his health and well-being.

3. You teach him.  You don’t walk him upstairs and stand over him while he brushes his teeth, though you probably do this for your preschool daughter.  You are teaching him to take care of himself and build the healthy habits that will serve him well.

4. You hold him accountable!  When he lies and you figure it out, you will not ignore it, you will help him stay motivated to do what is right.

Maybe he thinks by showing up at school you wanted to embarrass him.  Not true, though you may not have minded that as a side effect.  What you really said by showing up at school is “You can count on me.”  And that is the most important lesson our kids can learn each day.   Ever caught you’re a kid in a clear lie?  What worked for you?