Mommy, why is that person sleeping on the sidewalk?

My 4 yo daughter recently started to understand that there are people in our city who are homeless, and she will sometimes point out a person on the sidewalk and ask me if he or she is homeless. How do I respond?

Talia, in San Francisco, CA

Talia, I think our kids are best off with the truth. It is OK to give her a simple “Yes, sweetie.” Then wait to see what she says or asks. Most preschoolers and young elementary school children will follow this up with “Why?” The harder question for sure. Here you just need to think about what your child is ready to hear. Some possible true answers for different types of kids and different developmental levels: “I’m not sure.” True of course, since everyone has a different story. This teaches that we don’t have to know back story to have sympathy. “Some people don’t have a place to live. I think that must be hard.” Teaching empathy but not expecting a lot of deep philosophical musings from your child. “Why don’t you tell me what you think?” Great for getting a kid to express their concerns or feelings, you aren’t refusing to answer their question, just engaging them in a little conversation first. “Some people are not as (lucky/blessed/fortunate) as we are. Would you like to do something to help people who have less?” For a kid who is a do-er, this can be really empowering. Guide your child to a related activity. You can search your house for some unused toiletries or linens to donate to a shelter, you can detour to the grocery store for some gift cards to give to the next homeless person she encounters. If you have the time and inclination, the two of you can volunteer for a neighborhood clean up or at a homeless shelter cleaning or serving food. You might be surprised how many volunteer opportunities let kids come along. Talking about these issues with our kids teaches them empathy and also responsibility.  You have the power to raise a child who will look head on at the problems in society and search for solutions!