Resilient Enough for Nuance

It’s a time of strong opinions.

Everyone from newscasters to fast food workers to feed and grain suppliers are expected to – and often do – have a “stance” on every political issue. Many people want to know the entire “voting record” of a business before buying an iced tea from that establishment. And so we’re pressured to have an opinion on just about every issue, with new issues coming into the public sphere every day.

But the best way to be an actually effective part of any conversation means listening, learning and considering. Asking questions, working to understand different viewpoints and then – and I’d argue ONLY then – coming to your own opinion. All of which can be overwhelming and exhausting.

Careful listening, nuanced understanding and informed decision making all require resilience. Because inherent in any listening, learning or deciding is change. And change is hard!

What if we decided to have a strong opinion only on a few topics, the ones that we really have listened and learned about, and want to continue to engage with for the good of ourselves and the world?

What if, when someone tries to draw us into discussion on a topic that isn’t on that short list - and I know this is going against popular culture here, but just consider…

We just said “That’s interesting.”

Lots of people want to “know where we stand” on so many topics. But you don’t have to take a stand on every topic. Just because they are waving a rope in your face, trying to get you into tug-of-war on whatever, doesn’t mean you have to do that.

My point is this: your resilience is one of your most important resources. Be deliberate when it matters to you and don’t pick up the rope when you don’t have – and don’t want to - engage.

What is a topic that is important enough to you that you will spend your resilience exploring the nuances and making informed decisions? And what are some that you step back from in order to use your resilience wisely? Hit reply, I’d really like to know!

All my best,

Dr. G