Teens: Is School their Work?

My daughter is a sophomore in high school and turning 16 in January.  She wants to get a job.  I say school is her job, and she should enjoy the freedom to hang out with her friends when she isn’t doing homework.  What do you say?

Joseph, in Burbank, CA

I say let her get a job. Joseph, you sound like a really good dad.  You expect your daughter to do well in school, and you make those expectations clear.  You encourage her to enjoy her friends, and her life.  And you have the perspective to know that she is going to have many years of work-life, so you want her to not wish away her childhood. Let me offer another perspective.  You have the chance to guide your daughter in her work-life (for another couple of years only).  She wants the chance to try this grown up role, and you can help her so much! If she waits for these experiences until she is out of the house, how will she know what to wear to a job interview?  That first job application can be daunting, the first day of work even more so.  Boss conflict, co-worker disagreements, the importance of being on time and leaving her cell phone in her pocket – all these skills are better learned on a high school job.  Waiting until that job is her meal ticket puts her in a more precarious position. Like all the skills we want our kids to master as adults, we should take the chances we get to teach while they are still under our wings. Keep your expectations clear about her homework. Encourage her to keep her friends as a priority. Give her the opportunity to work for someone else, in a structured environment.  The lessons she learns will better prepare her for adulthood, and you will be an even greater Dad.