Tests and Papers and Projects: Too Much Homework!

My 8th grader has a ridiculous amount of homework. Here it is one week before Christmas and she has midterms to study for, papers to finish, projects. It’s crazy and I’m mad. She needs help to keep working and I have so much of my own holiday stuff to do. She did not leave this last minute, it just is not effing reasonable! She wants to chuck it all and I want to let her. But I don’t want to see her hard work for the semester go down the drain. Help!

Anonymous in NY

You are in a tough situation, no question. I empathize profoundly with your frustration! That said, this week your frustration doesn’t matter. What has to get done has to get done. Your empathy and perseverance will teach your daughter that you respect her and that you value her work. You will teach her more than the school possibly can about valuing her feelings and still meeting her obligations. Then you can teach her about speaking up to make changes when something is unjust. First question: Is there a project or paper that your daughter can blow off with an acceptable consequence? It may be worth taking a quick look at your school’s online grading book to figure out if she can let something go. Second question: Has she prioritized? A small paper for library is not worth the same amount of time or stress as an English midterm. It’s a good idea to figure out how much time she has to work between now and the end of these deadlines and then choose an amount of time for each project. Tests, especially, can expand to fill up all your study time. Third question: Is she at all balanced? Is she getting time to eat, sleep, and have a little bit of downtime? Certainly it won’t be the amount of downtime she might want or even need in the long term, but recharging will make her more effective and healthier. For the next week or so, you can show empathy for her situation but also need to continue to keep her on track to do her best with each of these assignments. When the deadlines pass and the holidays are over, you two should brainstorm about fixing the bigger problem. Here is a resource that might help at your daughter’s school: Race to Nowhere Homework Pledge Chances are good you are not the only parent who feels this is out of control. Start networking and agitate for change! After this round of tests.