What if you named what you're already doing?

When you’re having a sucky day, what’s your go to strategy to feel better?

Maybe you take a walk.

Maybe you call one particular friend.

Maybe you clean off your desk. Make a list. Go to the gym. Sit in your car for five minutes before walking into your house.

Now here's the question I find more interesting: Do you know why you do it?

Not just, “It makes me feel better.”

What is it actually doing for you?

Maybe walking gives your brain enough space to think, and it definitely changes your breathing. Maybe that friend doesn't solve your problems, but she gives you perspective and she keeps you connected. Maybe making a list takes everything competing for your attention and puts it somewhere outside your brain, and it definitely helps you align to your priorities and goals. Maybe those ten minutes before you respond to an email aren't procrastination. They're giving you enough distance to respond instead of react.

Naming it matters.

Because there's a difference between accidentally doing something that helps and knowing, This is a strategy that works for me.

Once you've named it, you can use it intentionally.

You can recognize, I'm losing perspective. I know someone who helps me with that. Or, I'm reacting instead of thinking. I know I make better decisions when I give myself ten minutes.

That's a resilience strategy.

I’m betting you have a lot more of them than you realize.

We tend to think resilience strategies have to sound impressive. Meditation. Journaling. Exercise. Therapy. Those absolutely can build resilience.

But so can knowing which friend to call. So can making dinner with your kids. So can knowing that you're a much better problem solver after you've moved your body.

The important part isn't whether someone else would put it on a list of “healthy habits.”

The important part is understanding what it does for you.

So I'm giving you an assignment this week.

Notice something you already do that helps you navigate stress, uncertainty, or change.

Then finish this sentence: “I do ______ because it helps me ______.”

That's it.

You've just named a resilience strategy.

And I want to hear yours. Hit reply and tell me? If there's something you do that you think might be building resilience but you're not sure how, send me that too.

I want to spend some time answering these because I have a feeling you're doing a lot more for your resilience than you've been giving yourself credit for.

All my best,

Dr. G